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Tired

A typical Friday afternoon. Sitting on  my desk, feeling so tired of all the work I did this week, writing my things-to-do for next week, realizing how long the list is, taking a deep breath, looking at the clock and counting how many minutes before it's time to go home.

I just had a long week, despite that this week only consists of 4 weekdays (we got  a holiday on Tuesday). My weekdays pass my mind as I stare at the clock in the bottom right corner of my laptop monitor. Monday was so-so, Tuesday was great since it's holiday and I got to had lunch with my friends, Wednesday started stressing me, Thursday was tiring since I have to go to Jakarta, and today was just ugh, make me wanna scream my lungs out.

Then the sound of cars' horns hit my ears. At first I don't realize anything, but then I realize my room is not in the front part of the office. The horn's sound shouldn't be heard. What happened outside?

I open the internet, type the website address of a CCTV for traffic, and search my office's address. Oh, well, huge traffic jam is happening in front of my office. This is just great. While I still have to wait for like 30 minutes to get out of the office, my back and neck are sore for sitting too long in front of the laptop, I just wanna be home at the soonest.

Then the thought of you comes to mind. While I always enjoy your smile, but I'm tortured by your indifference towards me. Indifference, but polite. That makes it harder for me to let you go. No, to be honest, I just can't let you go. Even though I know that I'll ended up hurt, I still don't want to let you go.

So, why don't I be a smart girl and let you go? You were never mine to begin with. I keep asking that question, and still got no answer.

I like you, I adore you. But I like the you version that's in my head. I  never got the chance to know the real you. But my heart always beats faster every time your smile comes to my head. What is this feeling, seriously? I'm getting more and more tired, not only by work, but also by the thought of not having you.

I just wanna go swim, and drown all this feeling away. I like you this much, yet you're still just being polite. I miss you this much, and you're still that same indifference person. Just tell me if I had the chance or not. Maybe that will ease this feeling.

Dear grey-eyed-man with the most wonderful smile in the world, I seriously like you. Please tell me what to do.

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