bittersweet things in life

Sunday afternoon, raining hard. I'm at a cafe with my colleague-slash-friend, looking for a place with free wi-fi to download a report that's due on Monday morning. Not the kind of a typical government employee you had in mind, huh? Yep, we are not like those other employees that could lay back in work. We had a handful of jobs, tasks, reports and deadlines until mid December. Yay to us! Sometimes, I feel really exhausted. It seems that our bosses are taking granted of the fact that we are not married yet. Being the only two girls that's still single in our section, we are given more tasks than the other. The task amount sometimes are so different that we protest to them. Right now, my friend is updating and revising her part of the report. My part's already finished. After that, she needs to convert the report to pdf file, and then we will go to a printing station to print the report 10x. While waiting for the printing to be finished, we will go to another caf

I hate myself Myself that impatient to almost everything Myself that easily get mad over little things Myself that get in a bad mood out of nowhere I hate myself Myself that couldn't think straight Myself that hurt my mom by putting on a sour face Myself that get too emotional when things go wrong I seriously hate myself today I hate that I can't be true to myself I hate that I can't apologize to my mon I hate myself! No one will like me, love me Why would they? Me, myself, don't even like me So, why am I still here? I want to disappear So the world could be a better place So I won't hurt anyone anymore So I don't hate myself I'm sorry for being me No, I'm sorry for being born I can't bring any good in my life I can only hurt other people

A typical Friday afternoon. Sitting on  my desk, feeling so tired of all the work I did this week, writing my things-to-do for next week, realizing how long the list is, taking a deep breath, looking at the clock and counting how many minutes before it's time to go home. I just had a long week, despite that this week only consists of 4 weekdays (we got  a holiday on Tuesday). My weekdays pass my mind as I stare at the clock in the bottom right corner of my laptop monitor. Monday was so-so, Tuesday was great since it's holiday and I got to had lunch with my friends, Wednesday started stressing me, Thursday was tiring since I have to go to Jakarta, and today was just ugh, make me wanna scream my lungs out. Then the sound of cars' horns hit my ears. At first I don't realize anything, but then I realize my room is not in the front part of the office. The horn's sound shouldn't be heard. What happened outside? I open the internet, type the website addres