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Be mine?

God is very kind to me. After all this time, in just 2weeks he let me feel this feeling again twice. First is with him, 8years younger than me. Second is with you, someone from afar. I think my feelings for him is just a warm-up of my feelings for you. I didn't fall for him, I can like him as I should be, and I didn't want him to know my feelings. With you, it's different.

With him, when I said my goodbyes, while knowing that we could still meet, I can let go my feelings in days. I can tell my heart to stop liking him more than I should. He's a colleague, a friend at most. And my heart can accept that. My heart doesn't shattered because of that.

With you, while knowing that you would only be here for a few days more, I can't tell my heart to let go. With you, while knowing that our next meeting is as uncertain as the sun rises from the west, I can't tell my heart to like you just as I should. You're a colleague, but I want to be your friend at least, and I want to be more than that. And my heart beats faster as the thought of you comes to mind, as I closed my eyes and see your smile. My heart beats faster, my chest filled with joy that it's almost suffocating. And my heart starts to shattered as the thought of you leaving me soon haunting my mind.

Dear you, don't you know that I can't get you out of my mind? Please give me a certain sign if you're just being polite, if there's no chance for us, if you're just kind as you're kind to anybody else. I can't think straight. I keep on hoping that we could be. I'm afraid that I'd be hurt, but I want to enjoy this feeling.. Enjoy this pain that you caused me. Because it's all worthed when I see you smile everytime you look at me. It's worthed for now.

Dear you, what can I do to let you know how I feel without embarrassing myself? Will it be okay if I just tell you straight about how I feel? But I'm afraid I can't do that.. I'm afraid that you will changed, that we won't be able to laugh or talk like we used to be. It's a huge risk, should I take the risk?

Dear you, will you be mine? I want to stand at the beginning with you..
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