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Be mine?

God is very kind to me. After all this time, in just 2weeks he let me feel this feeling again twice. First is with him, 8years younger than me. Second is with you, someone from afar. I think my feelings for him is just a warm-up of my feelings for you. I didn't fall for him, I can like him as I should be, and I didn't want him to know my feelings. With you, it's different.

With him, when I said my goodbyes, while knowing that we could still meet, I can let go my feelings in days. I can tell my heart to stop liking him more than I should. He's a colleague, a friend at most. And my heart can accept that. My heart doesn't shattered because of that.

With you, while knowing that you would only be here for a few days more, I can't tell my heart to let go. With you, while knowing that our next meeting is as uncertain as the sun rises from the west, I can't tell my heart to like you just as I should. You're a colleague, but I want to be your friend at least, and I want to be more than that. And my heart beats faster as the thought of you comes to mind, as I closed my eyes and see your smile. My heart beats faster, my chest filled with joy that it's almost suffocating. And my heart starts to shattered as the thought of you leaving me soon haunting my mind.

Dear you, don't you know that I can't get you out of my mind? Please give me a certain sign if you're just being polite, if there's no chance for us, if you're just kind as you're kind to anybody else. I can't think straight. I keep on hoping that we could be. I'm afraid that I'd be hurt, but I want to enjoy this feeling.. Enjoy this pain that you caused me. Because it's all worthed when I see you smile everytime you look at me. It's worthed for now.

Dear you, what can I do to let you know how I feel without embarrassing myself? Will it be okay if I just tell you straight about how I feel? But I'm afraid I can't do that.. I'm afraid that you will changed, that we won't be able to laugh or talk like we used to be. It's a huge risk, should I take the risk?

Dear you, will you be mine? I want to stand at the beginning with you..

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I beg you, please...

The more I tell myself not to fall for you, the more I fell.. Your little gestures make my heart melts over and over again. You come to help when I ask, without hesitate, with no fuss. You're willing to bring something I want, no questions asked, not feeling burdened. You are kind to me. Too kind. It makes me question if there is any love hidden beneath your actions. If you don't love me, please don't be that kind. Please... I beg you, please don't be too kind to me... I'm not sure I can handle any more heartache. Please... I beg you, please don't be too kind to me. For I might want you more than I would, need you more than I could, and love you more than I should. Please... I beg you, please.......

Buang sampah

from pexels.com Selalu miris kalo liat ada yang buang sampah sembarangan. Baik itu dari mobil dilempar ke luar, buang sampah di dalam angkot, atau sambil jalan kaki dilempar aja sampahnya dengan cuek. Tapi paling miris kalo liat ada anak kecil yang ngasihin sampahnya ke ibunya, lalu ibunya dengan enteng ngebuang sampahnya gitu aja ke selokan atau jalan.  Is it so hard to keep your trash with you until you find a trash can?? Apa susahnya ngantongin bungkus permen sampe nemu tempat sampah? Atau masukin bungkus makanan ringan ke tas sampe nyampe rumah dan lalu dibuang di tempat sampah? Dari kecil, gw selalu diajarin Ibu untuk ngantongin atau megang sampah (bungkus permen, botol minum kemasan, bungkus makanan ringan) sampe nemu tempat sampah atau sampe pulang ke rumah. Tapi kenapa orang tua jaman sekarang kebanyakan ga seperti itu? Padahal mereka yang paling kenceng protes kalo rumahnya kebanjiran karena selokannya penuh sampah. Mereka juga yang suk...